Відео

Me, an Avoidant: 👁️👄👁️ uh oh

Frankly When an avoidant feels like loving you , they will run and disappear. 🫠🫠

You are smart and a good coach and really on the real deal

Dignity is huge on the rebound. I'm 5 years hanging with emotional support and I git it. So I'm like looking real hard at the dynamics. Is this someone I want to be my significant😊

Those that feel it know it, brings the mindfulness that if I want her to be in a safe place . I have to be her peaceful harbor . If I speak to her witht love and she rejects then I'm not making her feel safe or she is the out on us.

Wait back up my goodnass 😅😊tha bubble is us and the bubble bursts and y

I suddenly got massively clingy to my girl and realized its just too fuckin much. Even for me. Getting random anxiety when she doesnt immediately respond and i hate that, cus she gets busy and needs space. This video helped. Thanks man, one love

Female DA here: yup, everything true. Normally the only contact I have with men is through WhatsApp groups with the typical "Hi, who would like to meet for X on day Y" If they come nice, if not I don't care. When I am interested in a man and try to date him/know him better I write with him privat. Share longer messages, talk about everything and write almost every day with him. I invite him to get togethers with friends (privat, not over WA group chats), make plans just for the two of us, go to his place (never did/do this with platonic males. Just not interested in). I look for his well beeing on parties/get togethers etc. (Support is my second love language) My friends realise immedeatly when I like a man ...unfortunately not said man. Last Summer I tried for 3 months to date a guy. (I may be avoidant to an extend I normally don't date for years, but when I (try to) date someone I am really consistent for several months to really learn about that person) He didn't realised I wanted something from him. When He realised he rejected me immediatly. Of course I stopped my efforts in this moments and he became a sand on a beach again.

Wow. I’m not positive if the woman I’m interested in is in fact an avoidant, but I’m pretty damn sure. There’s been a lot of times where I’ve wondered if she considers me special to her at all because she rarely verbally expresses how she feels towards me or tells me things she likes about me. When I clicked on this video, I didn’t expect 4 out of the 5 things mentioned to be things she does with me. She gives me almost all of her free time outside of work. We’re basically inseparable whenever she gets a week off or any other free time. She gives me money a lot (like quite a bit) in conjunction with pretty lavish gifts. Not to mention takes me out to dinner and orders us take out almost every time we hang out. She has been beginning to address things when there’s a conflict that comes up. Which I really appreciate, cuz I can tell she’s doing it so it doesn’t perpetuate and create worse problems. And our communication has improved immensely since I met her a little over a year ago. And she apologizes when I call her out on her bullshit. Anyway, just found this interesting and helpful. Thank you for the video!

They broke up with me because they are dismissive avoidant. We have a child together. We have to communicate and share the child.

I don’t want him back

I can get sex anywhere...it would just be nice to have a relationship that has LOVE ...for a change !!

How to re-attract a dismissive avoidant: please don't. :)

So true

Amen happened ten times with my ex wife and I still love her I'm just not being a fool because I ended up the bad guy

Avoidinistic

Gave them benefit of the doubt... for 1.5 years... just to hang out. Done with them now.

Thats exactly how my ex nars behave, its was insane i cant believe 30 years old man acting like a child

Thank you

Yes it's painful going through this phase.... She was an avoidant was divorced and had a daughter i tried everything to let her know how to heal herself but instead of listening she cheated twice by lying and hiding her Male friends and doing social media stuff. I detached myself from her and I'm realizing it's peaceful.

They are only Avoidant to the person they don’t love. They are never avoidant to the person they love

1k video amazing Congrats on the growth

Yeaa, no empathy for someone who breaks other peoples heart because they are afraid of POSSIBLY having their heart broken...

Please don’t sugarcoat it.. it’s a demon! No dismissal avoidant warrra warra 🙄

Thankyou 😮

And I love myself more so I never take them back.

My narc ex couldn't deal that I went no contact and put a restraining order on me. Then they stalked me. I get to go to court soon to defend myself against a forced violation that they created. To anyone out there, if you have an ex that is actively seeking you out when you don't want to see or talk to them. Get ahead of things and file for a restraining order against them. Also RECORD EVERYTHING.

This is not the relationship for them.

True😊

No thanks!

I won’t ever go back me.Simple.!!

🤔😶

I deleted her of all my social media, did I make wrong?

The only reason that an ex returns is that they didn’t find anything better & gave up searching. They decide to settle with the ex that’s available & compromise whatever made them leave to begin with.

I'm at the I'm letting go/accepting what happened and focusing on myself to feel better

I am an FA becoming earned secure and I would ultimately say they need to be willing to do the work to become earned secure and communicate their needs, I still like being treated that way like you said in the video but I learned to stop shutting down and running away so I can meet family and friends in the middle. I really don't think I made a good partner before becoming more secure either, I think it causes a lot of unfair damage to the other 3 attachment styles, but an FA once earned secure can give AMAZING attention and love to a relationship in a more stable way. I think the conversation about becoming earned secure eventually needs to come to the table when the time is right.

Then it's too late.

my mental health was affected crying and negative energy he activated my nervous system....never again

2 yrs on and off rollercoaster mostly based on lying cheating manipulation...he went on vacay w an ex while he was w me..i was trauma bonded and knocked him off a pedestal ...i just want to ghost and never see him again...theres nothing good abt him...goodbye tt all the best....i deserve better i deserve respect love and trust

What about no contact for 7 months, I figured that was long enough for him to reflect and reach out.

You just described my ex perfectly

Please do a video when they go back to someone they cheated on an x of 7 years me 6 year as nothing in line he is now in love he says and wants to get married moved back with her after about 6 weeks I’m doing the work he is running

Sounds good.

This is sickening, so childish and so accurate.

The x comes back because they can't find nobody to replace you. S*** hell no. Don't come back.

Great. What about the rebound person!?!?

I realize my ex may be a FA. He pulled a discard when things were going great and the relationship was healthy. I did everything they tell you to do. No contact, work on yourself, everything. In watching this though…I realize I’m not a mind reader. He knows I love him but at the end of the day he ended things and there is no way for me to know if he wants me to reach out yet or if he needs more time. If it’s too soon it gets worse, if it’s too late it gets worse. Unless he can take a step, since he was the dumper, I can’t do anything. I think if they are FA, no matter how much you love them, you have to just let them go. It’s a loose, loose if you make the wrong choice and you just end up hurting yourself more. It’s an impossible situation unless they can own up even in a small way to repair. The FA expects you to have some type of super powers that are not possible. I love him very much but I just have to accept his choice. It hurts. I don’t know that he realizes just how much it hurts and how much I wish we could repair things but the expectations of FA to read their minds with little to no help is not humanly possible.

My avoidant ex used to confide in me when it came to talking about her husbands betrayal of her with her best friend. She was also my work wife always making sure my tie was stright (amongst other things).. She said to me that ' When she got into a relationship with me, she never thought that she would fall in love with me. (as she did). She used to be my work wife, offereing me her home to use as an after hours work space....I think it was too much for her....Or maybe the relationship became monotonous. Even the intimacy was scheduled in as a weekly session.

mine blocked me for looking at her instagram stories, ironically i was only looking at them so i can see where she might be so i can avoid here, to give her the space she so desprately needed. i dont know if she even gets emails from me she blocked my number too. she still communicates with my brother for business stuff but never asks about me. im only on about day 7 of no contact. lets see what happens

Thank you 🌷